Death and grief is something we all must deal with during our lifetime. As we get older, death and grief from losing our loved ones become more and more prevalent in our lives. It seems we are attending more memorials than weddings and grief and depression start to set into our psyche telling us soon death will also come to us. These past couple of weeks, I have experienced a few deaths and grief and depression have been setting into the core of my psyche showing itself more prominently in my life.

 

We had to put down our beloved family dog after adopting her over a decade ago. Watching her quality of life disappear over the past year has been difficult to witness and making the decision to end her life wasn’t easy for any of us. This was a first experience for me and to see the vet euthanize her to sleep was heartbreaking. I felt I was going to have to be strong for our daughters and my husband who she favored the most loving with, but during the ordeal, it was me who cried the hardest. Her life was so brief and in an instant her life was gone and cremated to dust in a beautiful box with her paw print for us to remember her by. I started feeling depressed thinking of how fragile life truly is and how each and every single day is a beautiful gift we get to experience as we watch another sunrise, rainfall or sunset.

 

Gauthier, Robert –– – (Los Angeles, Ca. – Tuesday, December 16, 2008) Devin Devasquez arrives early to the funeral for her close friend, Bettie Page, at Pierce Brothers Westwood Village Memorial Park. Page, world famous pinup model from the 1950’s and 60’s died at 85 earlier this week. Dozens of friends, colleagues and fans, including Reverend Robert Schuller and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner attended the service.

After losing our dog, we were shocked to learn of the death of a beloved friend and renowned fashion designer, Laura Biagiotti. It was so sudden and so shocking to lose someone as near and dear to my heart as my own mother and at the age of 73, which seemed far too young to die. I knew our dear Laura had heart issues and had some close calls in the past, but hearing of her death made me feel completely depressed and sad for days. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone and cried helplessly knowing that that I would never get to see her again. Time to reflect on that relationship we shared was consuming me as my thoughts were only on Laura. Only two days passed before another shocking death of another close dear friend became bad news. We had only seen just seen him looking dashing and happy a week prior at the LA Science center giving back to charities that were near and dear to his heart. The loss of one of my closest friend’s husband, one who I indirectly put together to begin with has just passed away at age 67 only a couple years older than my own husband! OMG!! They say these things do come in threes, but I just can’t handle any more grief in such a short period of time! It’s just too much to deal with  and I start sobbing uncontrollably. Bob Lorsch was a prominent businessman who had connections from Hollywood to the white house.

 

It can’t be true? Bob Lorsch dead? Must be a mistake, we were just with him, just saw him laughing and having a great time! But the fact remained Bob Lorsch was indeed dead and died just a couple days after our beloved Laura Biagiotti. Facing death and grief for me was in full swing and it was making me sick so sick that I actually started having cold symptoms. This surprised me because I just recently got over a horrible bout of the flu that lasted nearly a month! I’m always eating healthy and trying to take care of myself by keeping life in balance within my mind, body and spirit. I feel it’s the key to handling all that life throws at us. So I try and take the time and focus energy into my home, health, career, relationships and finances on a daily basis. So when my focus turned to my own health given I had a sore throat in the throws of 80 degree sunshine with stuffed up ears, a headache and chills that turned into a cough, it was apparent I had another full blown cold to deal with. Perhaps my immune system was worn down from the past week of grieving? All I knew was that I needed to get back in balance in the health department first and foremost. I started my Thinessence routine of the helix machine, sauna and massage bed to sweat out the toxins plaguing my body. I also started to consciously drink my water quota that would help hydrate my body and get rid of this cold. Doing this routine 3 days this past week has helped tremendously and I’m finally starting to step out of the depressed state of mind I was in from grief. Thinking the storm of bad news was over only to learn my 90 year old aunt has just passed away leaving my 92 year old uncle after 70 years of marriage. She had lived life to the fullest and raised 8 children and a slew of grandchildren and passed on a legacy of love and commitment to all that knew her.

 

I knew it was time for me to book a flight to Houston and go visit my uncle who is my mother’s oldest brother and one of the last living relatives I have other than a mess of cousins I don’t really know. I can see how fast life is passing us all by and how precious human connection is in today’s fragile society. Death is just as much a part of life as life itself and it is indeed coming for us all someday, but it’s not here for me today and I’m grateful to see another sunrise. I know that gratitude is the key and that I have so many blessings on a daily basis to relish. Friends, family and even our furry animals are all part of this journey called life and so far life has been bountiful and simply amazing! I’m blessed for all the moments I had with Laura and Bob, my aunt and our dog and I know that the adventure of life continues with times of grief and sorrow and so we must be in gratitude for the joys and laughter because they too are coming in this cycle called life. The song Ronn just released with Pope Francis called, “Our Father” has a special meaning for these beautiful souls that have departed us here on earth and who we hope to someday see again in heaven.

Author

Most people know me as Playboy's Miss June 1985. I also won $100,000 on the TV talent show "Star Search" as their Spokesmodel Champion in 1986, have been featured in movies such as, Disney's "Can't Buy Me Love", A Low Down Dirty Shame, House 2, Society and Andy Sidaris' "Guns", currently I have a Cajun spice called, "Devin's Kickass Cajun Seasoning" especially created to help the great city of New Orleans rebuild from the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. I just authored a book featuring an exclusive interview with pinup legend Bettie Page entitled, "The Naked Truth About A Pinup Model"

4 Comments

  1. Pam Presnell

    Wow, thank u dear Devin. I was so very sad when I learned of Nayo having to be put down, but I knew it was the right thing to do for her. I didn’t know your Laura, but I know you and Ronn were so close to her. I didn’t know Bob either, but I know how close you and Kira are…..and goodness…your beloved Aunt. I’m so, so sorry. Grief, I believe, is such an individual process. As my Soul Sister, I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better throughout all of this. Much love to you sweetie…I hope the second half of your year is Blessed with Sunshine and Happiness!! Our Birthday is coming up…something to look forward to!! Hugs hon

    • I just wanted to say we lost our beautiful amazing fur baby (pit bull) a week ago today…to say we were devastated is an understatement…I’ve only experienced pain like that when I lost my parents…we got his ashes back yesterday and to say the pain reared its ugly head again is another understatement…it was an excruciating pain thAt I don’t know that I can survive any more…I’m so very sorry you and Ronan have had to deal with the pain and loss it’s just soooooooooo sad and I pray things get better with you guys!!!!
      Cathy Morrow , Lenoir, NC

  2. Katarina

    Devin, sweeties I’m very sorry for losses of yr Nayo and persons. Sending (((bighug))) with love and positive energy for u and Ronn. U 2 supported me when my mom passed away. And ill always support and love u both. Can’t wait for August to meet u again in Belgium. ????? Kat

  3. My heart is in the same place. Looking forward to seeing you, and sharing a long overdue hug. I think I need to learn more of this routine of yours. ? See you very soon!