With Mother’s Day approaching and this year flying by so quickly, my thoughts and reflections made me think of my own mother. She passed away when I was 30 and she was only 50 of breast cancer. Ronn lost his beloved mother at the tender age of 18. I’m sure a lot of you can relate to what it feels like to lose your mother at any age, as being very hard to cope with.
I started thinking about what it must be like for mothers, step- mothers, foster mothers or anyone who has nurtured another person in life. I grew up in and out of foster homes and never had my mother be a real mother to me. She had a nervous break down with I was only five and I really was more like her mom in many ways. Thus, requiring me to grow up very fast. Ronn says I really missed out on having a real child hood as result.
So as a step mom, I got to experience a lot of that through my step- daughters, since they have been in my life from ages 5 and 10. But, I have often been accused of not being maternal enough, even though I thought I was being that, as best that I knew how?
I never had that feeling of wanting so badly to have children when many of my other girlfriends had these urges years ago. Maybe it was because I had such a rough childhood and maybe it was because I knew intuitively that I couldn’t have children in this lifetime?
Because of the loving care that many foster moms gave me growing up, I have compassion for children, especially those in need. I was always considerate of the fact that my step- children had a mother and never tried to be that to them. I instead tried to be there to help when needed and I very much tried to be a good step- mother. I tried to give them space to be with their dad, cook healthy meals for them, showed them kindness and compassion and I tried to make holidays fun memories.
I personally know how fragile a child’s feelings can be from my own childhood of loneliness. Thankfully, my step- children have had a wonderful childhood and I wanted nothing more than to contribute to that with kindness. However, it’s not easy being a step- parent, as some of you may know? Children are often in the middle of both of their parents in blended families. Sometimes, they are manipulated as pawns in battles between their parents, and more often the step- parent bares the brunt of the aftermath. I feel lucky to have two gorgeous intelligent stepdaughters that I hope I have contributed to in some positive fashion.
I know that every foster mother I had contributed something positive to my life. Just being there in any nurturing positive way for a child’s well being is a good thing. We have too many abused children in our world today. There are children who do not have anyone to turn to and those who are abandoned or terribly neglected. I personally have been one of those children and my heart goes out to each and every one of those who don’t have mothers.
So to all mothers out there, whether you have given birth to a child, fostered one, been a step parent to one or a surrogate, I for one wish you a wonderful mother’s day!!
9 Comments
Hi Dev. Thanks for another beautiful update of yr blog. Love to read it. Im sorry to hear that u have bad childhood but u are grew up to beautiful lady inside and out and Creason and Callee are lucky girls to have u as their stepmom. Have u and Ronn nice weekend. Loveu both. Kat
Thank you for the wonderful Mother’s Day tribute. I am sure you have been a great mother to the girls, it’s not easy but kindness makes the difference. I sense that you are kind.
Lovely Blog again Devin..I was adopted at the age of 9 after being fostered during WW2,,now a Great GrandMa,,Family is the most important thing in my life..”Happy Mothers Day” to all,Brenda xx
OMG! Just beautiful! Have to send to several people. God bless you and all the love you give to everyone. You are a true blessing.
Devin, I wasn’t aware of your childhood. My heart fractured into pieces reading your story. Everyone who saw you with Greyson could feel your love, compassion and empathy. You were remarkably beautiful with that little boy. Happy Mother’s day to you, dear Devin.
Dear Devin,
Thank you for sharing your story. Going through what you have, at an early life, has made you a very strong woman. You also seem like a very caring person and I’m sure your step-daughters love you for your strength.
I wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day, Devin.
Love,
Audrey XXOO
Hi Devin, Happy Mother’s Day to you. I’m a stepmom and a mom, so I know how it goes. You are one of the finest people I know. The girls are lucky to have you.
You know who loves ya chêre, Lilian
Loving Blog Devin
And your wishes for all mothers goes for all the days in the year
God Bless
I you too had a wonderful Mother’s Day and I am sure your (daughters) are spiritually also a part of you! Your words speak beauty and love?