Death and grief is something we all must deal with during our lifetime. As we get older, death and grief from losing our loved ones become more and more prevalent in our lives. It seems we are attending more memorials than weddings and grief and depression start to set into our psyche telling us soon death will also come to us. These past couple of weeks, I have experienced a few deaths and grief and depression have been setting into the core of my psyche showing itself more prominently in my life.


We had to put down our beloved family dog after adopting her over a decade ago. Watching her quality of life disappear over the past year has been difficult to witness and making the decision to end her life wasn’t easy for any of us. This was a first experience for me and to see the vet euthanize her to sleep was heartbreaking. I felt I was going to have to be strong for our daughters and my husband who she favored the most loving with, but during the ordeal, it was me who cried the hardest. Her life was so brief and in an instant her life was gone and cremated to dust in a beautiful box with her paw print for us to remember her by. I started feeling depressed thinking of how fragile life truly is and how each and every single day is a beautiful gift we get to experience as we watch another sunrise, rainfall or sunset.


Gauthier, Robert –– – (Los Angeles, Ca. – Tuesday, December 16, 2008) Devin Devasquez arrives early to the funeral for her close friend, Bettie Page, at Pierce Brothers Westwood Village Memorial Park. Page, world famous pinup model from the 1950’s and 60’s died at 85 earlier this week. Dozens of friends, colleagues and fans, including Reverend Robert Schuller and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner attended the service.

After losing our dog, we were shocked to learn of the death of a beloved friend and renowned fashion designer, Laura Biagiotti. It was so sudden and so shocking to lose someone as near and dear to my heart as my own mother and at the age of 73, which seemed far too young to die. I knew our dear Laura had heart issues and had some close calls in the past, but hearing of her death made me feel completely depressed and sad for days. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone and cried helplessly knowing that that I would never get to see her again. Time to reflect on that relationship we shared was consuming me as my thoughts were only on Laura. Only two days passed before another shocking death of another close dear friend became bad news. We had only seen just seen him looking dashing and happy a week prior at the LA Science center giving back to charities that were near and dear to his heart. The loss of one of my closest friend’s husband, one who I indirectly put together to begin with has just passed away at age 67 only a couple years older than my own husband! OMG!! They say these things do come in threes, but I just can’t handle any more grief in such a short period of time! It’s just too much to deal with  and I start sobbing uncontrollably. Bob Lorsch was a prominent businessman who had connections from Hollywood to the white house.


It can’t be true? Bob Lorsch dead? Must be a mistake, we were just with him, just saw him laughing and having a great time! But the fact remained Bob Lorsch was indeed dead and died just a couple days after our beloved Laura Biagiotti. Facing death and grief for me was in full swing and it was making me sick so sick that I actually started having cold symptoms. This surprised me because I just recently got over a horrible bout of the flu that lasted nearly a month! I’m always eating healthy and trying to take care of myself by keeping life in balance within my mind, body and spirit. I feel it’s the key to handling all that life throws at us. So I try and take the time and focus energy into my home, health, career, relationships and finances on a daily basis. So when my focus turned to my own health given I had a sore throat in the throws of 80 degree sunshine with stuffed up ears, a headache and chills that turned into a cough, it was apparent I had another full blown cold to deal with. Perhaps my immune system was worn down from the past week of grieving? All I knew was that I needed to get back in balance in the health department first and foremost. I started my Thinessence routine of the helix machine, sauna and massage bed to sweat out the toxins plaguing my body. I also started to consciously drink my water quota that would help hydrate my body and get rid of this cold. Doing this routine 3 days this past week has helped tremendously and I’m finally starting to step out of the depressed state of mind I was in from grief. Thinking the storm of bad news was over only to learn my 90 year old aunt has just passed away leaving my 92 year old uncle after 70 years of marriage. She had lived life to the fullest and raised 8 children and a slew of grandchildren and passed on a legacy of love and commitment to all that knew her.


I knew it was time for me to book a flight to Houston and go visit my uncle who is my mother’s oldest brother and one of the last living relatives I have other than a mess of cousins I don’t really know. I can see how fast life is passing us all by and how precious human connection is in today’s fragile society. Death is just as much a part of life as life itself and it is indeed coming for us all someday, but it’s not here for me today and I’m grateful to see another sunrise. I know that gratitude is the key and that I have so many blessings on a daily basis to relish. Friends, family and even our furry animals are all part of this journey called life and so far life has been bountiful and simply amazing! I’m blessed for all the moments I had with Laura and Bob, my aunt and our dog and I know that the adventure of life continues with times of grief and sorrow and so we must be in gratitude for the joys and laughter because they too are coming in this cycle called life. The song Ronn just released with Pope Francis called, “Our Father” has a special meaning for these beautiful souls that have departed us here on earth and who we hope to someday see again in heaven.

5935_127251820411_661760411_3447722_4616946_n I spent a memorable 4th of July hanging out at the beach with my girlfriends Alana Curry, Sandra Taylor and Dee Dee Bigelow. Dee Dee had me dancing to Michael Jackson and laughing most of the day. I don’t think the 4th would have been complete without dancing to Michael’s music. Almost two weeks after his death, the news coverage is relentless and it seems to be 24/7 Michael Jackson. I can only imagine how his family is feeling, but I imagine it is important to have closure for fans.michael_jackson_whitePersonally, I’d rather watch the memorial on TV than go and deal with the massive traffic and crowd that will be there. I was at the supermarket today and it seems every single magazine had him on their cover. I don’t like how people are making money off of his death, but I know that will continue and just get worst. Michael was a goodhearted person, who gave alot of money to charity and I think it’s fitting that he gets this kind of a tribute, he did alot to feed the hungry and his music was positive and all about love. Unfortunately, I truly feel for what his children will have to endure over the coming years living in a fish bowl. Hopefully, their family’s love will shelter and protect them. Michael will live on through his music and I plan to dance to it every 4th of July in celebration of his life from now on.

I am in total shock over how many iconic figures in my life have died recently and so young!farrahfawcettposter The passing of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both on my birthday has made me feel very strange. I can’t stop crying and ironically have many friends who were close to both of these Iconic figures.Michael_Jackson_-_Another_Part_Of_Me3 A friend I just spoke with said it was a blessing for me that they died on my birthday, but it’s hard to see it that way. I grew up with them and they touched my life. Farrah was from the south, she was part American Choctaw Indian and French Canadian like me. She and I also had friends in common. My good friend Corey Feldman was great friends with Michael and I knew Michael’s brother Randy and sister LaToya, who shared my attorney Michael Morris.mcmahon Then of course there was Ed McMahon who I did personally know and was a huge part of my career. This is making me want to be as healthy as I can possibly be and live life to the fullest. My heart is breaking for all of them and their families. I know I won’t have a birthday in the future without thinking of them. May they rest in peace.


EdMcMahonnotexttightcrop_000It was a sad day today as we said farewell to Ed McMahon. He will always be a special memory for me for he was the one who gave me my $100,000 check when I won “Star Search” and I had the honor of appearing on Johnny Carson with him. Ed was a down to earth warm person. It was sad to see the struggles he had just before he died and the horrible injury he endured. He is surely someone fixed in my childhood memories. I wish his family peace and send my love and blessings to his soul. Rest in peace my friend.